Why it doesn't just go away From the first day they met, everyone knew that Katie and Ted would stay together forever. He always told everyone how much he loved her and that she was the perfect wife and mother. However, behind closed doors it was a different story. Ted was not a kind man in “his” home, he was verbally abusive and constantly accused Katie of cheating on him. These fits of anger were quickly followed by flowers and apologies. Katie was abused by Ted, however, she loved him and he promised to never hurt her again. According to Gosselin (2014), the cycle of violence is the theory that best describes the ongoing and abusive relationship between Katie and Ted (p.175). The cycle of violence contains three elements, or phases, that allow the perpetrator to bring the victim back after each episode of abuse (Gosselin, 2014, p.175). The first stage is called tension building, it is when the offender is repressing all the frustrations, the victim may feel like they are walking on eggshells around the offender (Gosselin, 2014, p.175). The second stage is called an explosion, which is exactly what happens, the offender uses all of their pent-up energy, anger, and frustration to beat or abuse the victim (Gosselin, 2014, p.175). Now, the third and final phase of the cycle of violence is the honeymoon phase, this is the phase where the perpetrator tries to reconcile with the victim and stops the victim from leaving by apologizing and promising that the abuse will not will never happen again (Gosselin, 2014). , p.175). To the victim, this may seem like the perpetrator has simply lost his temper and is not likely to abuse again, but this is where the victim is wrong, hence the name of the theory, it is a repeated cycle of violence. ... middle of paper ... hasn't she left?" However, when informed of the actual complications facing victims of domestic violence, a viewer might instead ask, "How can I help her leave?" Katie might don't think leaving is an option and may not even see her situation as abuse, but an informed advocate for victims of domestic violence may be able to recognize the signs and share with Katie that her life doesn't have to be this way. There are many explanations as to why she remains and only a few that should guide her otherwise, as a bystander or survivor becomes aware of the issues surrounding domestic violence and intimate partner abuse can increase the victim's chances of survival victims must be educated and connected to resources before they begin to feel that there may be hope for a better life and only until then will they remain victims and not survivors..66964383